I lost hope in May

May knocked me like Hulk smashed Loki.

I had a flare-up of panic attacks and couldn’t drive for a few days. It was the kind of spiral where brushing your teeth feels like an achievement.

Here’s the kicker: I’ve been doing everything right. Eating real food. Taking my supplements. On HRT. Hydrating like a camel before a desert rave. Could I exercise more? Sure. But when have I not said that?

And still, I was taken down.

Because stress doesn’t care that you take magnesium glycinate.
Because life isn’t impressed by your smoothies.
Because the news is basically a massive cortisol spike with a heaping side of despair.

So we go hunting for the missing piece:
More protein? More breathwork? Should I start jogging? (Ha…very funny, Chris.)
Should I wear one of those magnetic, nervous system-calming rings that scream “I’m totally fine!”?

Then before you know it, you’re $200 poorer, your pantry looks like a health food boutique exploded, and the wellness industry is doing an adaptogenic victory dance.

And this is why I do what I do.

Not to sell you a cure-all powder that tastes like dirt and broken dreams.
Not to brand my own line of protein powders formulated to treat each specific symptom of menopause (Protein for Rage, Protein for Night Sweats, Protein for Hot Flashes).

I just want women—all women—to feel well and feel good. (There’s a difference!)

Yet people still ask: “What are you selling?”
And when I say, “I teach people how to avoid needing a cardiologist at 50,” they look at me confused, like I just told them I raise goats in my living room.

And when I hear: “People don’t really want to pay for that,” I want to scream, “Fark you!”

I don’t, of course. But oh, do I want to. Because I know that if they are not actively managing their wellness by now, they will end up paying insurance companies much more later, just because they never learned how to conscientiously eat, breathe, rest, and regulate.

This month, though, I’ve been quiet. Hiding. Recharging. Avoiding people who say, “Have you tried yoga?” like it’s a cure for corruption and climate collapse.

But here’s what I’ve learned, resting in the dark:

You can love your body and admit it’s not well. You can be body-positive and metabolically struggling. You can be doing your best and still feel like crap.

This is not failure. This is reality. This is the life of a woman.

The wellness industry wants to gaslight us to believe the solution is always one more supplement, one more detox, one more overpriced, super-cute tin of CBD mints. But what we really need is truth—and people who are brave enough to speak it.

So here I am.

I’m not selling a shake. I’m not trying to be an influencer. I’m just trying to help women stop living in constant pursuit of “better.”

If you, too, are ready to come out of your cave, let’s do it together—with truth, with food that nourishes, and just enough sarcasm to get us through it all.

Let’s do it differently, and find true health.